Not Here Not Now, Not While I Still Love You
by vampireacademygirl10
Summary: Post LS. Things are great for the first few months but when Rose and Dimitri have a big fight that changes everything. Rose leaves heartbroken. Now 5 years later she back for a wedding can she stop it? or does fate have other plans?
1. Chapter 1

Not here not now not while I still love you

chapter 1

This has to be one of the worst days of my life! Dimitri Belikov is getting married! now why would I be upset well for 1. it's not me he's marring and for 2. he's marring a nobody moroi i mean she's not even royal . Can my life yet any worse! I thought not I would be able to come back, I mean is been 5 years and I still can't get him out of my head. he did break my heart but I still couldn't let go of him. I remember the fight just like it was yesterday...

_Flashback_

_It started like any other day which at the time was perfect. We had just woke up from a great sleep then all of a sudden his mood just turned black. "Roza I can't keep doing this" I was just getting dressed and stopped mid sleeve "What why" I almost cried right then. "I can't get give you everything that you need" I turned around to face him and said "You are all that I could ever need, hell I went to the ends of the earth to save you." He gave a laugh without humor "I know you did and I'll always be grateful but i can't give you kids like you deserve i just think you can be happy with somebody else." I started crying then " I don't care about any of that I can't live without you that would hurt me more than anything." he just looked at me and said " Sorry Roza I'm leaving tonight for Russia". That night I ran and ran never looked back till now..._

_end of flashback._

Now here a sat in the church at court waiting for the bride to be to walk down the aisle. My blood boiling by every second that went by. I felt Lissa tense beside me she knows me so well, even without the bond I knew what she was thinking. Lissa still hasn't forgiven him for hurting me so bad. She wasn't going to come to his wedding but a begged her into coming with me. Now your thinking why in the hell would I go to my ex lovers wedding well I Rose Hathaway have a plan.

The wedding march began and the bitch that stole my man started to walk at a very slow pace. Right then i stole a look at Dimitri for the first time in 5 years and i suddenly wanted to cry but i just pushed back the tears and thought about my plan. The whore finally made it to the alter it felt forever but in realty it was only like 10 seconds. They turned to the priest and he made his opening statements then finally he said if anybody objects speak now or forever hold your peace well that was my cue. I slowly stood up and said " No they should not get married because he doesn't love her he loves me and i will not let him marry anybody but me Not here not now not while i still love you Dimitri Belikov!

The whole crowed turned to look at me with there mouths open then i heard the one voice that makes my heart melt every time "Roza why"

**An: this is my first fanfic so be nice. and i would love reviews to see if i should continue or not and let me know how i did. im pretty sure it sucked but i just wanted to try it out.**

**Please review that would make me one happy girl!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Why Roza" I just looked at like he was stupid and said "Because I love you dummy, do you think I would just watch you get married to somebody else that's not me." He just gave me a knowing look and shouted "Rose I gave you up for a reason to give you a life that I couldn't give you!" I just yelled right back "I told you before I don't care about any of that and I'm not just going to sit back and watch you marry somebody you don't love, look me in the eye and tell me you love her because I know you don't!"

"Your right I don't love her not like I love you I'll never love anybody more than I love you but I still can't have a relationship with you based on a lie!" I laugh a little at that on and said "How is the love we have a lie, if you marry what's-her-face then that would be a lie." He sighed and looked to What's-her-face with a sad look on his face "I'm so sorry but I can't marry you I'm sorry to say but you were just there to fill the void in my heart I hope that one day you can forgive me." She started to cry and slapped him in the face yelling " you prick!" She bolted after that.

Dimitri turned back to me and said "Are you happy you just broke her heart in front of everyone" I gave a smirk "Oh and you didn't break my heart, you were going to break her heart just by marring her and saying you loved her when you didn't, I say she will think me in the long run." By the end of my little speech we were eye to eye well as well as we could be any way. We stood like that for a long time till the crowd started cheering. I guess nobody wanted them to get married, then all of a sudden I was tackled by Dimitri's sisters. They were all talking so fast in Russian I didn't get a chance to get a word in, finally the started talking in English and the all started thanking me for saving Dimitri"s life.

"Roza thank you for stopping Dimitri from making the biggest mistake of his life." Olena told me a little later after everything settled down. I smiled and said "As soon as I heard he was getting married I just knew I had to stop him." She hugged me again "I tried to talk him out of it I mean we all did but I knew the only person he would listen to was you." I hugged her back and said " Yeah now that he's not getting married now I just hope he comes to his senses and takes me back I don't think I can ever live without him. She gave me a sad smile and said "Oh Roza he would be crazy not take you back he loves you with all his heart, I know he feels like he can't give you everything you deserve but I really think that he's just scared to love again after all that's happed to him, he will come around don't you worry." By the end of her speech I was crying again Uhh what is wrong with me, I have cried so much these last 5 years you would think I wouldn't have any tears left. Olena just held me till I stopped crying , after that Dimitri asked if he could talked to me. "You better be saying you're sorry and kiss me right now!" He sighed and he looked like he wanted to kiss me but he didn't instead he said " Rose I'm not going to kiss you but I am going to apologize look I'm sorry for saying all those hurtful things to you but I just can't be with you right now, maybe in time but just not now I need time to sort some stuff out." Oh how I could use a drink right now " Ok but I'm not going to give up on you I will never love anybody else so don't even tell me I can." He simile and said" I know and I'm not going to pretended that I love somebody else either, just give me some time and we will go from there this is not goodbye Roza." He leaned down a brushed his lips against mine an walked away. Even with just that little movement I felt like my whole body was on fire. Just than Lissa walked up with Sparky I gave him a big hug and asked him how he was doing since they killed Tasha about 4 years ago. He told me he was doing great "If I didn't have Liss I don't know what I would have done with myself." I smiled and said "Yeah I know she's a great girl." We all laughed at that and started to walk to the bar were my oh so needed drink awaited, Yeah it's going to be a long night at least it turned out better than I could ever have imagined.

**AN: OMG thanks everybody who reviewed and put my story on their favorite list you guys are awesome. I didn't think I would get such great feedback. So thanks again I have an idea were I want this story to go but any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I'm going to try to update at least once a day but it won't be till later at night cuz i have to work and take care of a kid during the day. Now go hit that review button I love to hear what you guys think of my story it keeps me going. **


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I woke up with a massive hangover but it was so worth it we had a great time. I dont't even remember how I even got to palace housing. Ah being best friends with the Queen does have it's perks. It's better than what I'm use to sleeping on recently working with Abe was very long and tiring. I never knew where I was going to have to sleep and it was not always a bed. So have my own be again was great and I would be closer to my mom and friends again.

After i showered and dressed in a cute pair of skinny jeans and a tank top with my white strapy sandles I started to head towards the throne room.  
>Lissa spent most of her days in there doing all her queenly duties. We still had to discuss about me being her gaurdian again I was about to walk in when Christan slamed into me "Hey watch were your going sparky" I yelled.<p>

"Geez calm down Rose I didn't know you were there." I storted at him and said "Yeah right if you say so." Just then Lissa came into the room "Hey whats all the commotion about?" she asked. I glared at Christan and said "Oh nothing just that your fiance just slamed into me and didn't even say sorry." I exclamed. Lissa just gave him a look, "Thats not very nice say your sorry to Rose." He just sighed "Ok sorry Rose." I started laughing and said "Man shes got you wipped big time." He just glared at me and walked away muttering under his breath.

"So how are you feeling today Rose." Lissa asked after Christan was out of the room. "Oh im just peachy I just have a massive headache." she just laughed "Yeah I kinda figured that since you had way to much to drink lastnight, I had to send one of my gaurdains to carry you to your room."  
>she said. "Oh wow so that's how I got to bed, I was wondering about that." I laughed. "Yeah you were pretty out of it." she laughed also. After our laughing fit she asked "So what do you want to talked about?"<p>

"So when or if can I come back as your garudian." she just smiled and gave me a big hug and said "Of course you can be my gaurdian again, I was saving head gaurdian for you if you ever decied to come back." I huged her back and said " Oh thank you liss I missed you so much, I can't wait to be your gaurdian again."

"Well I'm glad you decided to come back you can start next week, you can take this week to get all settled in before you come back." I gave her are you serious look and said "I really don't need time to get settled I want to start right away, I can start today even." she laughed

"Are you sure?" she asked "Of course I'm sure!" she smiled and said "Ok good, so how did things go with Dimitri last night."

"Good actually, he said that he was'nt going to pretend that he didn't love me anymore, but he did say that he needed time to think thinks thruogh and he kissed me, so I'm hoping thats a good sign."

"Wow thats great at least thats a right step in the right direction." she said "Yeah I think so to, so I'm going to get changed then I'll come and find you."  
>"Ok sounds good, just to let you know theres a lot of work to be done Hans retired 3 years ago." she yelled as i was walking away.<br>"perfect" I mumbered and walked towards my room to put on my gaurdian uinform.

As I walk back to my room I just started to relize how muched I missed everything. I mean I was always missing Dimitri and Lissa and I hate to admit I missed Christan too. I just hope this time around at court things go better this time around than they did last time.  
>It seems like everyime I'm here at court it always leads to heart break for me, and if it does I just hope my heart can handle a third time.<br>Geez can my life just be normal for once!

AN: Thanks for the reviews but more would help me out a lot. reviews let me know if you are enjoying my story or not, so hit that button you know you want too. :)  
> <p>


	4. Chapter 4

Charter 4

This has to be the longest day of my life, there is so much paper work to be done it's ridiculous. I would have thought somebody would have kept up on the paper work since Hans has been gone but I guess I was wrong. There is some papers that's dated 3 years ago! I'm just glad I'm a guardian again it was a long and hard 5 years I still remember how hurt Lissa was when I told her I was leaving.

_Flashback_

_I had just boarded the plane that would take me to Abe, I decided that this would be the best time to call Lissa before takeoff. I dialed and she picked up on the first ring._

_"Oh Rose where are you I have been so worried about you" she practically yelled in the phone."_

_"Geez Lissa calm down and I'm not going to be home for awhile I don't know when I'll be back, I'm going to be working with Abe for awhile I can't be at court right now." I calmly told her. She started to cry by then, I felt so bad for leaving her, I just had to go, there is no way I can handle seeing him anymore._

_"Why Rose you were supposed to be my head guardian and were just going to try and be normal for once why do you have to leave now and ruin everything."_

_"I have to leave Liss, Dimitri and I had a big fight I just can't deal with all that right now, I promise to come back I just need time to figure everything out."_

_"Oh so you are just going to let some guy get in the way of my perfectly made plans well I don't think so. I never want to talk to you again have fun being lonely for rest of your life." then she hung up._

_End of flashback_

She made good on her promise to she didn't talk to me for 3 years before she forgave me. Just one day she called me out of the blue and apologized for everything she said to me that night and she said she forgave me a long time ago. She just wasn't brave enough to call me which was silly we have been best friends since kindergarten.

Finally it was 6 o' clock that was the time I told myself I would work too. I about quit five minutes into it but i pulled through till 6. As I was making my way towards my room I ran into the last person I wanted to see Dimitri. I tryed to make it past him without him seeing me but no such luck.

"Hey Rose what's up" he said trying to act nonchalant

"Oh nothing just making my way back to my room from doing paper work all day something I never want to do again but there are mountains left to do, so I guess I'm stuck."

He just chuckled "Hey I was wondering if you wanted to do something umm you know like a date I thought we could start taking it slow." he asked nervously.

Wow that's the last thing I expected to come out of his mouth "Ok sounds good what day is good for you it doesn't matter to me since I can make up my own hours."

"How does Saturday sound that's my day off."

"Sound great see you then." I started to walk away but he called out my name before I could escape.

"Oh and Rose wear something nice." Then he winked at me and walked away. I can't believe he just winked at me I just about melted right to the floor. Man he sure knows how to turn a girl on. I haven't had sex for over 5 years I could never bring myself to do it with someone else who wasn't Dimitri.

I finally made it to my room, I just had to get out of the uniform sure it was comfortable but a need a good old pair of sweat pants and a tank top. I just got my shirt off when I heard.

"Oh am I about to get a show!"

**AN: Can anybody guess who that is! Tell me what you thought of it like it or hate it I would like any kind of reviews! They help me out a lot thanks for reading. **


	5. Chapter 5

"Oh I'm going to get a show!"

I turned around and had my stake out in a flash in till I saw who was sitting on my couch." Oh my god Adrian you scared the shit out of me." I yelled at him.

"I'm hurt you have been back for like almost a week and have yet to say hi to me what's wrong with you." he said completely ignoring my surpise.

I put my shirt back on real quick I didn't feel like talking to him in just my bra." I didn't know we were on speaking terms, how I left things I didn't know if you ever wanted to talk to me again."

"Oh Rose that's water under the bridge I found somebody new I'm so over you , I'm just kidding I will always love you but just in a brotherly way now." he told me then he walked over and gave me a hug.

"I'm so happy for you Adrian who is the lucky lady that as your heart." I said after we got done hugging.

"Well her name is Sydney I believe you have met her before."

I started jumping up and down " Wow that's crazy where is she, is she at court Oh Adrian I'm so happy for you guys. Wait how did you guys get to know each other. I said all in one breath.

"Woo calm done Rose it's a long story do you have time to hear it all." he asked after I calmed down a little.

"Yeah sure I have all the time in the world."

"Ok but I believe you have a very long story to share as well ." he told me in a firm voice trying to be serious but he couldn't help the smile that crept to his face there is no way Adrian Ivashkov can ever be serious.

I just rolled my eyes " Yeah I'll tell you the story I'm sure it's longer than yours so you go first."

We talked for hours he told me the whole story about how he and Sydney fell in love. I just can't believe somebody killed Jill and I was really surprised that her and Adrian are bonded now. That bond was really a blessing in disguise because that really made him grow up it's just sad that somebody had to die before he decided that finally it was time. He now had a college degree that he finished in L.A. it turns out they had to stay in hiding for a long time. It took Lissa more time than she thought to overturn the quorum. Now that it was overturned nobody as tried to touch Jill again which was great.

Adrian also told me Jill has finally able to block him off, and she can also go into his head freely which kinda freaks Adrian out a little. I know Jill gives him his privacy she wouldn't just invade his head unless she had a good reason too.

It was about midnight when we finished talking and I was ready for a long hot shower then bed.

"Well I'm going to get out of here Syd is probably wondering where I'm at I'll drop by again tomorrow but this time I'll bring Sydney along."

"Sounds like a plan I haven't seen her in such a long time." I said trying to stifle a yawn.

"Yep well your tired I'll go now, sleep well." he said giving me another hug and kissed my forehead.

" I love you Adrian." I said as he was walking towards the door he turned back around and said "I love you to Rose now go get some rest." then he walked out the door.

I walked to my room with a bid goofy smile on my face, I'm just so glad we are friends again it was weird not having him in my life. Now that was cleared up I started to get out my pj's and went to go start the shower. The shower felt great I just stood there in the nice hot water till it turned cold. After my shower I braided my very long hair and climbed into to bed feeling like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I then fell into a nice dream less sleep.

**AN: Thanks for reading I loved all your reviews that I received last chapter thanks guys you are all great.! Till next time.**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: I'm sorry for the late update I had a lot of things going on. I hope I never have to go that long without an update so again I'm so sorry so I hope you guys like it. Oh and I also have been forgetting the disclaimer I'm only going to do this once because I think there not necessary to say before every chapter so here it is I do not own Vampire Academy there done. **

**-Sarah**

Chapter 6

This has been one hell of a week, filing sucks ass. Now it is Saturday today is my date with the love of my life and Lissa and Sydney are coming over to make me over. I'm kinda nervous this will be the first time I've seen Sydney since I left I just hope she can forgive me like Lissa has. I just got of the shower when there was a knock at the door. As I opened it I was tackled by Sydney first thing I noticed was her swollen belly.

"I'm so glad you came back I missed you." she partially yelled.

"I missed you too and Adrian failed to mention that you were pregnant but I'm so happy for you guys."

"I asked him not too I wanted to surprise you. I'm about 5 months a long now and we just found out that were having a little boy."

"Awww that's awesome I can't wait to see him and spoil him. I know Lissa can't wait either." I said turning to Lissa and she had a look of jealousy on her face but it came and went so fast but I saw it before she could compose herself.

"Liss don't worry you and Sparky are getting married in 6 months I'm sure you will be having little Dragomir babies in no time." I told her trying to comfort her, I know how much she wants a baby of her own.

She sighed and said " I know I just want to be pregnant now you know but Christen wants to wait till after the wedding . I really to get married now I just want a small private wedding but I am the queen so I have to play the part and have a huge wedding to satisfy the old stuffy bitches."

I gave her a stern look and told her " You can do what every you want and if you want a small private wedding then so be it and forget those snobby old bitches."

"Yeah I agree with Rose you should do what makes you happy" Sydney chimed in.

Lissa Sighed again " It's just not that easy but I'll think on it but for now let's get you ready Rose, Dimitri is going to be picking you up in 3 hours."

"Ok let's do this, make me beautiful girls." I said nervously

They were true to their word I looked hot, I mean I should with 3 hours of hair pulling and eye stabbing. It was a little before 5 when we were all done they had my hair half up and down and every inch of my hair was curled. My make up was done smoky with dark gray eye shadow mascara and a little bit of eye liner. My dress was sexy has hell it was dark gray and it almost looked black it came up just above my knees and I also wore a pair of dark gray pumps. Dimitri's mouth was going to hit the floor when he saw me.

Lissa broke me out of my thoughts by saying " Dimitri won't be able to keep his hands off you tonight."

I just rolled my eyes " Were taking this slow remember I don't want to rush in to things again. I think that's how things went wrong the first time ."

"I'm just saying Rose you look really sexy tonight you can't count on anything not happening to night."

"Yeah I think so to nobody would be able pull off that look like you do." Sydney said agreeing with Lissa.

Just then there was a knock at the door I opened the door to reveal Dimitri, man he looks damn good too. I don't know if I'll be able to keep my hands off him either. He wore black dress pants with a nice dark gray pined striped button down shirt. Lissa must have told him the color of my dress or he was just that damn good. We stood like that for a good 10 seconds just looking into each other's eyes he finally broke the silence by handing my red roses.

"These are for you beautiful."

He sure knows how to get my heart going. I Just smiled and smelled the roses delicious aroma. " Thank you let me go find a vase to put them in. I walked into the kitchen and found the vase I wanted and turn back around to say good bye to Lissa and Sydney but found they must have slipped out when me and Dimitri were staring at each other.

I grabbed my purse and said turned back to Dimitri "Well are you ready to go, I don't know about you but I'm starving."

He just chuckled " Yeah lets go but before you ask where were going I'm not telling it's a surprise."

I gave me him my best pouty face and sighed "Ok fine but I'm not going to like it."

He laughed again "Will see Roza." with that we were off to where ever the hell we were going. As we were walking I realized we were heading towards the private jet.

"Were flying so it must be really special then."

"Nice try Roza but I'm still not telling." He told me in a stern voice.

"Whatever." I said walking away to get on the plane with Dimitri hot on my heels. the plane ride was long and boring but Dimitri and I fell into a nice conversion so it wasn't as bad as being by myself. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew I was being shaken awake by Dimitri.

"Were here, my Roza " Dimitri whispered in my ear.

"Where is here comrade." I said sarcastically.

"You'll see." he said as we were walking down the jets steps. I couldn't believe where we were I thought this was one place I was never coming back too.

"Oh my god Dimitri I can't believe it." I said with tears in my eyes.

**AN: So where do you think our favorite couple are at. Again I'm soooo sorry for not updating sooner I feel so bad. Till next time. **

**-Sarah **


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